Careful with this. I wrote it when I was 13 and still considered myself to be "InsaneLex".

Life? It's an illusion. Hello, World! Hm. Fallen. Deafening faces underestimate the powers of my slaying triangle-shaped fingers. My girlfriend has the yummiest face. She also has three ears. One of the ears is mine. My ears have white hair on them. "What?" Terrible gibberish. Violent exercise. Dodos? Bone? Heart-shaped boxes are coming directly from Pandora. Pandora is dead? Death is dead. I am dead. Don't open your mailbox. Sticks and stones may break my penis, but women will never hurt me. Happiness is within mythology and is explained by jars. Zeus turned into a swan and raped. "AA! LACY!" Porcupines and labels raped my momma! Big Ugly Mama and the Zk. Beware the label makers, for they have omnipotent power over your undergarments. George Bush Junior is really wax-sealed cheese in disguise. Santa Claus has no Es! IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! How come sense is made, ever? Go. You're a book, full of "go." The print is the size of an atom. People have to read it with a shard of turkey bun. I didn't think there were any harmless effects, but there are! I lost all control of my bodily functions. I must go and change my lakes and baskets. I do not even own any oil-utilizing vehicles. A microphone! Wahoo! Left-handed nipples are sadly mistaken for can openers at all spaces. Spaces are foolish mongrels when it comes to Morlocks. Are you having fun writing such important pieces of work as this? YOU'D BETTER BE, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT. My computer turns to dust because of Mavis Bacon. Bacon, being what dead fish head it is, has no orange to eat. Beware of the second sun, for it is afraid of this third one. Six months of day, going on and on about something, are pigs in a pod. Farting piglets think that they just shat themselves, but this one makes a cooler noise. This should be the noise for murder movies. Mudder? You are mine, says the maniacal dragon chair! I'm going to make you a rich, awful man. Monopoly money! That's supposed to be beneath the one, quite literally. Free your mind, Neo and Barney the purple dinosaur who has no head. Oh, there it is. Why don't you know that you are my Mario? Tell everyone in the galaxy that I'm you. Aah! They're squirting pus all over me with their yellow sashes! Sashes! Sashes! I should buy Pokémon cards, but it's not quite worth the indigenous nose hair. A fair hydrant looms over my water jug. GO AWAY! Digging and wiggling through the head of a tortoise, you see the heart. Hearts are small creatures; almost as small as sausages. AAH! I'm a headless hydra! Laughing stock, and two smoking barrels. Should I shut the volume off on this insanely excellent music? It's too late now, for it is 7:00 AM. Pull the tapeworm out of your ass. HEY! That's not your penguin! That's my handicapped kneecap! With the ears sticking out like a candy-carrying case, you tell your best friend all your highest secrets! OW! SHARP! No, it is. That's what you get when you watch Sesame Street and you pick up your phone, only to hear an inane licking noise. I mean, I don't want you to take it and only eat it, because it falls under the category of gory movies. You live alone and it's the only phone in your private circle. Plungers? That would be so weird because then people wouldn't eat Mavis. PUT IT OUT, YOU MORON! EXCELLENT AND DAMNED. I'll fix that right down. I am simply catty, plus, it is the awkward link in the scale of many different species of fish! Pictionary! SLAP! You're no old lady, young man. Beware of falling Lego pieces, for it has anti-gravity. Where are the square chairs? Look out for the children as they bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite. I'm destroying their world! PAPPIES! And now you are a solid gold dancer! Oh no! I've drained my pants of couches! It's a crooked, masturbating piece of flesh! Aah! My pants! They burn like whiteheads! I am conjoined at the hip with another woman. It all harnesses my effort for gashing judgment and leprosy. Things can't be too spontaneous, because sometimes, there is no real chaos. It's like the boy who cried, "Wolf!" You don't always get what you see. The celery stalks at midnight, but Bunnicula waits for victims to spoil and mangle. Having huge eyebrows gives you a slight advantage with the snails. They seem to prey on Laxative. That's why they're always just SO goopy and solid! Condoms have sponsors such as KFC and Nike! Just think of the slogans! You'll be disgusted and happy at the same time, just like Gordy. Freddy didn't really get fingered, but the screenplay and follicle tubes lead you to believe that he did, and that it's possible, which it is. Humungous entertainment is an exclamation mark in the works of Brad Pitt and Serj Tankian. One would never think to exercise the wrong of doing a good deed. That's only because science has failed our edges. ETCH A SKETCH NOW, BITCH! That's the only way to live, and it's the second way to die, which leads me to believe that ties aren't such useless things. They dangle sideways compared to my bedside because they are in need of too many cocks. It's the only thing they'll eat! I should make a madlib of this, because it's favorably nasty.